Positive self-talk—like telling yourself you’re doing a good job, you’re strong and important, and other similar words of affirmation—has some surprising health benefits. This activity can reduce stress, pain, and other symptoms.
But what happens if you can’t get over the embarrassment of doing so? Do we really have to talk loudly to ourselves to feel better?
Here are some suggestions worth trying, experts say:
Ditch the products
Home furnishings retailers are filled with pillows, framed art and shirts emblazoned with inspirational phrases.
You walk into a home improvement store and see a poster or frame that says “Be You” or “Believe,” you can’t just buy an affirmative message from a home improvement store or Target and hang it on your wall and then Think everything will be fine.
Rather, an affirmation must be tailored to each specific person and their needs, and retail merchandise rarely conveys this accurately. You can’t just make a blanket statement like “you’re the best.”
Add the ‘I’
Affirmations should contain an “I” statement to help you build self-esteem. So instead of saying phrases like “The world is wonderful” or “Everything is fine,” try starting with something specific that means something to you.
Recommend to find something deep inside that you think you’re not good at. List these negative items, such as “I’m not smart” or “I don’t have the ability to find new jobs I like”. Then, turn it into a positive statement, and retain any judgment. Thus, this may translate to “I’m smart” or “I have the ability to find a job I like”.
Some people find it awkward to say this out loud, but it is necessary. The reason is that you have to hear it, too. We can think about things in our heads but hear it and that is why soliloquy is so effective in reducing many of our psychological challenges.
If you think it’s too embarrassing to speak out publicly, then…
Choose a private place
It can obviously be awkward to walk around in an open space or even at home shouting your affirmations with other family members. If this is the case, it is recommended to find an “ideal” space with no distractions.
If you feel comfortable saying your affirmations in front of your family, consider the positive contagious impact this may have on others, including children.Try doing an activity together that makes everyone feel engaged.
Write your self-affirmations down instead
Essentially, an affirmation is a belief, so you can either think about it or write it down, which can be a form of journaling, which research shows can reduce anxiety symptoms.
Use sticky notes
You can also place sticky notes with your affirmations in visible places, especially in areas where you may be feeling stressed. Think of your car, refrigerator, mirror, laundry room, or work computer as potential places to place and read your affirmations.
Pick self-affirmations that are actually meaningful to you
Social media may have led us to believe that we have to think and say things like “I’m beautiful,” but you should use affirmations that help relieve specific stressors.
When we feel anxious, we put our energy into other things (thinking), “I don’t know what this experience is going to be like.” Reminding yourself that you have a choice here is about taking back some power.
Another example might be when you experience imposter syndrome at work. Try to think about the situation – are you working on a big project?— and come up with some applicable positive self-talk. For example, “I am capable” or “I will excel at this opportunity.”
When in doubt, go for a well-used affirmation
There’s a tried-and-true saying that’s been helpful, especially during the pandemic: “This too shall pass.” If you can’t figure out a specific and meaningful affirmation right now, you can always try repeating it.
This is helpful because we are in unprecedented times.” This affirmation is a good reminder that we have been through other times of conflict and uncertainty before and have risen above them.
Whatever you choose, affirmations should be used multiple times a day. It is recommended to repeat these for up to five times each morning and evening. minutes to help yourself really feel what they mean. However, they can also be used in times of stress. Do what feels right and, most importantly, do what works for you.